A review: Chat Roulette

It has come to my attention that some of you have been using this site to instantly and anonymously chat with other randos in a time consuming, oddball fashion of eclectic weirdness, unlimited potential and pornography. This is what the interwebs is all about, so I sauntered on over to review this site for the more discerning interwebs divers.

The site has a simple layout, and within moments you are chatting with other interwebs users in real time video with text support. Though the site is nice and cleanly organized and simple to get started (so easy a kid could do it... unfortunately... more on that later) the sound quality is awful, and most resort to the text bar provided. The video is good quality, depending on the stranger's web cam.

I immediately got started and began chatting. I kept a live log of typed thoughts and references, quickly put up as I was watching for 100 chats. I now present to you these hastily scribbled experiences:

1: A dark room, a foot.

A perfect intro to the weirdness that is to follow.

2: an asian man playing video games.
3: A shirtless man, a sign says looking for bitch.
4: A naked man gripping his erect member. He hits skip before I can.

Unfortunately, this is the first of many weiners I saw that night.

5: A dark screen. I pause for a moment to write.
6: A girl with a mask. She quickly hits skip.
7: A dude bro. He hits skip.
8: Another dark screen. I call out hello tentatively. There is no response.
9: Guy, he sees my phi tau shirt. We start to chat, he turns out to be from Miami.
He is a beta theta pi. We chat for a bit.

This is the first actual conversation I have. It was rather pleasant, but I'd rather chat with friends.

10: Another dick.
11: Two guys. They tell me that they've seen four guys in a row as a 'dick chain'. They have
accents. They say they are going to try to break their record.
12: Two more guys, look like tools. They hang up quickly.
13: A little boy. Shouldn't be on here.
14: A toolbag. Quickly changes.
15: A dick.
16: Another dick.

I suppose I now have a two dick chain.

17: A creepy looking dude in dark glasses. He says nothing and stairs at me.
18: A man in a wrestling mask.
19: A guy who flips me off.
20: A girl in black and white.

The high contrast hides flaws. There were enough women who used this trick I began to suspect
that, though there were more wieners looking for chicks, there were also some chicks looking for wieners.

21: A red sign that says boobs | vaginas. There is a 1 under the boobs.
22: A sign that shows papa smurf and says I need boobs to save my village.
23: A guy in a wrestling mask.
24: Another dick.
25: A man wiping up his ejaculate, having just came on his pants.

This was pretty disgusting, and I considered scrapping the whole project here. But as an Interwebs person, I have seen some nasty stuff, so bravely (or foolishly) dove deeper.

26: A man looking into the distance.
27: A creepy man in a hoodie.
28: Two asian girls. They say they are from Asia. I tell them I've seen a lot of wieners.
They laugh and then hang up.
29: Another dark screen.
30: A guy who quickly changes it.
31: A man with dark glasses dancing at me.
32: A man laying down in bed.
33: A man with dreads glaring at the camera. He has a neck beard. I ask him how long
he has been growing them. He says nothing, merely stares at the camera.
34: Another random dude.
35: A very angry looking dude.
36: Another wiener
37: A laughing chick.
38: A dude.
39: Another dude.
40: Wiener.
41: Creepy dude.
42: A silent boy.
43: Boobs? Huh. I guess it works both ways.
44: A man grabbing his erect penis through his pants.
45: A creepy guy.
46: a naked man.
47: Wiener.
48: A creepy dude.
49: A man standing up, drinking a beer. He says he has been at it all day.
50: Creepy dude.
51: Wiener.
52: A man playing music on a glowing keyboard. Very cool. It flashes whenever he plays a key.
He then puts his fingers into a circle, and pushes his finger through the circle,
mimicking coitus. I tell him he is classy. He does so again. I hit next.
53: My camera freezes. It is in a weird facial position.
54: A small guy in a hoodie.
55: A man moves frantically around.
56: A girl looks into the camera.
57: A guy in a white undershirt.
58: A girl in a revealing shirt. We make small talk, it turns out she is from Norway.
I tell her she is number 58, we talk about the dudes who masturbate. We begin to chat.
She comments she has been there, and we have a chat conversation.
Stranger: only my dad and his family are from englnad
..we continue to chat for some time. About culture in Norway, the amazing nature of this technology, ect.

This, to me, shows the potential of this site. Instant face to face contact with different cultures. Amazing. Think about what this could do for world peace, cultural understanding, technology, art, ideas... the mind boggles. Or, alternatively, it could be used to show people your wiener.

59: A girl in goth clothing.
60: A group of giggling girls.
61: A man in dark shades. He is joined by another guy. They begin smoking cigarettes.
They hit next.
62: dude.
63: Naked dude.
65: Black and white chick.
66: Goth chick. She stares for a moment, then mouths something. We begin to type.
We have a conversation, and she begins to tell me about her day. Apparently it
was quite crazy. I notice her hair is died, and she is wearing quite a lot of
make up. I briefly wonder if she got prettied up for this, and think back to the other
girl's shirt. Hm...
She talks about the wieners and drinks the last of some fluid from a pitcher,
then asks me to guess her age?
I show her to my girlfriend, who guesses 16.
She tells me she is 15! Too young to be on this site.
If dudes have been showing their wieners to her, that is total illegal. Huh.
She tells me she is from the UK.
We chat for a bit, but I start to feel weird about chatting up a 15 year old online.
67: An Asian man in dark glasses.
68: A naked man in a hunting cap.
69: A woman in lots of makeup, my theory continues.
70: A man opens by saying global warming is a lie. We begin to talk politics.
He is from new jersey.
He tells me religion is a lie, then switches.
71: A woman with a bottle of tequila.
72: A man in headphones gives me the peace sign.
73: A man or woman in what looks like a burkha. Or Naqib thing.
74: A close up of a man's sleeve. He does not respond to my hailing.
After a minute I hit next.
75: A girl. She tries to speak then clicks next.
76: A girl.
77: A girl. Are they looking for weiners?
78: Darkness.
79: Creepy guy.
80: Creepy guy.
81: Creepy guy.
82: Wiener.
83: Creepy guy.
84: Guy masturbating into pants.
75: A gal from the Netherlands. She makes me guess this, though,and I reveal my embarrassing lack of European geography. She tells me she has a friend in Ohio, who is named Koen.
We discuss stereotypes of our countries. Pot smoking, red light districts.
She tells me I look like jack black, and we talk about how much better porn is then this site.

Overall, probably the conversation I enjoyed the most. Two students from different cultures speaking on various subjects, promoting understanding of each other... wonderful concept.

76: A black screen after that nice break.
77: A creepy dude. He says lol then disconnects.
78: A strange glowing light.
79: A creepy dude.
80: A douchebag creepy dude.
81: Another little kid. Ugh.
82: A black screen.
83: A wiener.
84: A creepy dude.
85: A black screen.
86: A blinking clock. Digital with green numbers. A red light is flashing.
People are talking in the background. He says "it a bomb" He turns the
camera to reveal he is in a Darth Vader helmet, and gives me a thumbs up.
He gives me the peace sign and hits next.
87: Creepy dude.
88: Blank screen.
89: Blank screen.
90: Black n' white girl.
91: A grainy quality creepy dude. He stairs at the screen, unwavering.
His webcam is awful, and it makes him look like an old video. He says
nothing, merely staring at me for some time before hitting next.

This was the most unsettling, and there were many unsettling ones.

92: Creepy dude.
93: Creepy dude.
94: A dude in a large fake mustache. He makes faces at me and then
clicks next.
95: A man wearing a Russian hat in bad. Very creepy.
96: Wiener.
97: A pleasant looking man and woman. They begin to talk to me, but my
computer crashes.
98: After getting back on, I see a very androgynous person smiling.
I have no idea if it is a man or a woman, but it quickly goes away.
99: Another creepy man in a hat.
100: A man slowly puts a bear closer and closer to the screen and then
pushes its crotch into the webcam.

Confusing, so I broke it down into statistics for easy digestibility:

Random Weirdness - 15%
Blank Screens - 7%
Creepy Dudes - 41%
Creepy Girls - 12%
Creepy Androgynous - 1%
Pleasant Conversations - 3%
Kids - 2%
Wieners - 19%

I can't help but notice that the creepy guy/creepy girl ratio (counting wieners as creepy guys) is a poor 60/12, or 5:1 ratio. Not good odds, creepy guys.

So, in essence, we have a site of amazing power for communication, cultural contact, information and discourse. However, it is mostly used for sex and voyeurism. In this, it is a perfect mirror for the interwebs as a whole. Overall entertainment value I would say is mostly poor, unless you like looking at wieners or having people look at yours (and in that case, it is mostly other wieners and giggling girls, so why bother?)

A fun thing to do once, but not enough draw to lead me back there.